"a rush of blood to the head"

It's so strange. I feel happy here, not like ultra-happy but I feel very good... and at the same time, I miss my life in Sofia terribly. I still sometimes feel some dull pain in my throat and my chest that would make me suffocate if it were physical. It comes so suddenly and goes away so fast, and it leaves such strange after effects in my mind that I need some time to figure out what just happened.

"Inside the City of Glass"

I'm in some pretty weird mood right now. I think I know how it started, but it doesn't really matter. So I won't talk about it.
It's Thursday, and I'm so tired. I just talked to Mikey, who I think I almost convinced to come to Halona, so that put me in a slightly better mood. Beer too should take some responsibility... and don't ask me why I drink beer at 6pm. I really needed a relaxation mechanism.
Yesterday Dan came over to Claremont, and I heard his story about how twice over the course of 10 days he almost died as well as experienced an endless series of shitty events. It's a story worth making into a movie, but I'll leave that to him :)
Tonight I'll get some rest and grade, and tomorrow have lunch with the other women in CS... Then, we'll see... I have no real plans for the weekend.

eight foreigners in russian lounge

So to prove that the best thing I do is to contradict myself, let me tell you I just came back from Russian lounge, and for the first time this year I actually had fun with my closest circle of friends, i.e. the people that I mainly hang out with when I'm in the US. For the record, that's two Bulgarians including myself, a girl from Russia, a guy from Uzbekistan, a crazy crazy girl from Germany, a very close friend of mine from Spain, an American guy whose parents are Ukrainian, and a Canadian girl with Russian roots.

"wHellcome to my heaven"

I think that the mature little girl that I was in 2000-2002 has come back. I've become such an introvert. Not that I was an extrovert before, but I think I'm experiencing some period now when I just really need my inner peace. I don't know whether that means that that inner peace is very fragile (I don't think so), or that I'm really enjoying that inner peace, but I'm slightly confused anyway.

There are many other things on my mind right now, and I'm in some weird mental state--by which I definitely do not mean that I'm drunk or anything. This isn't to say that I'm unhappy. In fact, I still think I've learned to be more in control of myself, and that by itself makes me happy. I can't deny that now that the school year started, I'm horrifyingly overwhelmed with work, and you can imagine how some of my ambitious plans about working out 5 times a week fail, but I have trust in myself, and I believe that once I get used to my 4.5 very time-consuming classes (all either reading-intensive or writing-intensive... or both), I'll be fine and I'll have my rhythm back. And I'll try to get back on track this coming week. I will not let all this work kill me, or turn me into a zombie as it's been trying to do.

Certain people are making me very happy, and things are going much better than I expected. As I think about these people (the plural really should be singular), I think about certain episodes from the summer and how I felt, and how I felt that he felt... and it's so interesting how remembering things can give you comfort. Maybe it has to do with the ability to stop craving and to actually have some moderation when craving isn't going to get me anywhere.

On a different note, if nothing goes wrong, I'm going to the Grace Hopper Conference in San Diego in early October... needless to say, I'm pretty happy about that too :)

Utter Madness

So today Facebook went a little too far and added a News Feed feature, which, the instant you log on, tells you who updated what exactly, who changed their relationship status, who wrote on whose wall, and every other kind of little disgusting details you don't want to immediately see about everyone.
There are thousands of (Facebook... what an irony) groups against that feature, the biggest one of which includes about 70,000 people already, and as I was refreshing to see how many people join every 5 seconds, I noticed that it grows by about 20 or 30 per second.
Just couldn't resist sharing that totally confusing bit of info with you.